When the car broke down, I asked my father to cosign on a new one, as he had just done for my sister (the light-skinned sister he adored). Finally, 28 years old, out of money and months behind on my rent, I started sleeping in my car. I put it on the next year and the year after that, and each time, it bombed again. My play bombed 30 people came on opening weekend. I rarely dated, and if a woman told me she loved me, I headed for the door. Every day I felt angry and bitter and terribly lonely. But even though I was writing about recovering, I wasn't doing it. I got a day job as a bill collector and scrimped and saved to put on my play I Know I've Been Changed- a musical about recovering from an abusive childhood. When I was 21, I left my house in New Orleans and headed to Atlanta to be a playwright. He thought he could beat the softness out of me and make me hard like him. My father-a man with a third-grade education who was orphaned at 2 and sent to work in the fields at 5-understood only the physical. I conjured up other worlds: worlds in which I didn't worry about being poor, in which I was someone else's child, a child who lived in a mansion and had a dog. I preferred staying home, writing and drawing. I was a tall child, but sickly-I had asthma-and when I went to work with him, the sawdust made me cough. He used his hands to pour concrete and hammer nails. Maybe next I'll dare to work on my jump shot. Now, as a senator representing New York and fighting in Congress on the issues I care about, I can look back and say that the Aha! moment Sofia inspired was one of the most important of my life. Soon after her challenge, I decided to risk being the best I could be and entered the race. But Sofia, in her optimism and enthusiasm, in her spirit and drive, reminded me why it's so important.
In truth, sometimes our most fearsome competitor is ourself, as we face our own doubts and fears on the way to reaching our potential.ĭaring to compete isn't always easy. All of us wonder at times whether what lies ahead is too difficult or too challenging. How can I give in to my fears and fail to do something I have urged countless other women to do? Why am I so hesitant about taking on this challenge? Why aren't I thinking more seriously about it?Īll of us struggle to be the best we can be. I started to ask myself questions that had been lurking in the back of my mind for a long time. Late into that night, I was still thinking about what she'd said. I was stunned-genuinely caught off guard. As I approached the microphone to say a few words about the importance of giving girls every opportunity to grow and reach their potential, Sofia grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear: "Dare to compete, Mrs. A young woman named Sofia Totti, the captain of the girls' basketball team at the school, introduced me.Īnd then something unexpected happened.
(Lucky for me, athletic ability was not required for entry to the event.) We gathered at a local school, joined by dozens of young women athletes, all of us assembled on a stage beneath a giant banner that read dare to compete, the title of the film. In March of that year, I went to New York City to join Billie Jean King at an event promoting a documentary about Title IX and women in sports. It was an incredibly difficult decision, and I needed a push. Would I be able to earn the trust of New Yorkers? Would I make a good candidate? Did I have what it takes? But I was used to getting onstage and talking about the virtues of someone else. Sure, I'd campaigned all over the country, for my husband and for other candidates. No First Lady had ever before sought public office. In fact, reading the newspaper or watching television, it seemed that the only person in the world not convinced I would run was me.īut there were so many things to consider. And there is one in particular that stands out in my mind.Įarly in 1999, speculation was growing that I would enter the U.S. Of course, I still have to choose one moment to share-that's the deal. Whether as a mother or First Lady or United States senator, I find every day seems to bring new and unexpected insights and understanding. I've been blessed with a life filled with wonderful experiences-and epiphanies. Choosing a single Aha! moment is nearly impossible.
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